At the end of my rope

I had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy on 10/1. Between this being my third chest surgery (two previous reductions, the last finding LCIS prompting the BMX) and a nurse manhandling my right side seroma, the right side of my chest opened on 10/14.

Because it’s a flat closure, my team is letting the incision close on its own. But it’s deep, and long. The entire right side; 12” long, 2” wide and probably 1/4-1/2” deep. Internal staples are visible.

I’m tired yall. I’m tired of the pain, the compression, the daily bandage changes. My body is healing but it’s so slow.

I look at my left side and I feel angry. I could be far more comfortable if my right side had healed like my left. I could be working on regaining mobility and stretching my pecs.

I’m just so depleted, I don’t know how much more I have in me.