I want to torture myself consciously

TW: Mention of self harm.

I have a weird idea but not sure how to apply it. I know I hate myself so much and I am working on that, on trying to be a person who I at least tolerate as I don't believe one should/can just turn hate into love and toleration just like that and "as is" similar to what the pop culture suggests. However, I believe it's gonna be a while till that is achievable. So, my idea is to consciously induce pain to myself, or other ways of suffering, but through methods that are safe and have no long run effects on me. Previously I used to cut myself, and when I stopped I just found out that I starve myself which has hurt my physical health so much. Also, I forgot to mention the important fact that this feeling of self hatred takes shape in everyday life unconsciously through shame feeling, especially when I'm talking with someone, EXTREME self trash talk, addiction, and a strange form of "kidnapping" my body and forcing it to do stuff, work and so even when it's not feeling like it and not in a good way. I believe at least expressing this energy consciously is the way to go, to stop it from taking shape forcefully and in ways that actually have negative effects on my life.

Any practical ways to do so?

Also, any Jung reference on the topic is appreciated.