My (20 F) boyfriend (24 M) lied to me about his weed addiction. What would you do?
As stated, I, a 20 F, found out that my boyfriend, 24 M, lied about his weed consumption. For context, we have been together for a month (we’ve been talking for ab 2~3 months though), and he had originally told me that he only does joints twice a week. I said I wanted nothing to do with it, anything regarding smoking or substances makes me uncomfortable, and I had sent a boundary of him not doing weed before or during when he sees me. He agreed, respecting my boundary.
A couple weeks ago, he had let it slip that he did some weed before seeing me, we were going to a party that night and he had done it in the morning. I had asked him if he had done it before any of our recent dates; he said no. I asked him was his consumption more than twice a week; he said yes. Apparently he takes/does weed every day.
Here’s where I am stumped. As stated before, I am uncomfortable with smoking or substances around me, and made it very clear when I started my dating journey this year that I would steer clear of smokers/weed users on dating apps. That’s where we met and his profile said nothing about the weed.
However, I like how he makes me feel. He’s a nice guy and he’s funny, and I talk to him on the phone every night. It feels like the rose tinted glasses have come off because I see him in a different light. I asked if he could cut it down for me, and he said he could try to cut it down a bit.
I know I can’t force anybody to quit, that’s a hard journey, and I don’t offer ultimatums. I understand he has to want to quit too. I want to stay in the relationship, but I see no future with him if he continues down the path of this. What else can he lie about? What if he’s taking something else? What if he peer pressures me? What if he lies and says he’s cutting when he’s really not??
Reddit, what would you do? I’m happy to answer any questions you may have. I just want some advice on what I should do, since this has really thrown me.
Posted Nov 10, 2025, 12:05 PM UTC