Been SA'd and taken advantage of too many times that I don't have a libido anymore

Lost my libido because almost every single guy I've been with or encountered has either raped me, sexually harassed me after I told them "no" or told them to stop crossing my boundaries. And I've had men molest me. Not saying that all guys are bad. All that I'm saying is I lost my libido due to multiple assaults over the past 14 years. My ex boyfriend (who was my first boyfriend) this year raped me, stole my stuff from me, and used me for money. He also would call me names and make fun of my vagina. I've lost hope when it comes to love. It seems like guys won't love me for who I am right now and expect me to lose weight in order to have sex or be loved by them. All of these factors combined has made me lose my libido. Now I just don't have sex anymore but wish I did. Other women who are in relationships are luckier than I and I'm envious of them, wish I were like them.

Yes, I'm in therapy for this, please don't harass me in the comments.