BPD ex trauma and now my new roommate probably has the condition, too.

I’ve had the misfortune of running into 10 or so people with BPD in close quarters so far. I know the drill.

The warning signs were very subtle in my brief and very friendly meeting with the new roommate at the viewing. She had trouble controlling the volume of her voice and seemed to be tense/charged with uncertain emotion throughout the conversation even as we laughed and joked. It’s a kind of unmistakable stare that separates the loud voice and tension from someone who’s just nervous or autistic, and I have finally accepted that this combo is the universal BPD warning sign. I just wish I’d come to to them one person sooner…

She also had some issues with the previous tenant but it was framed as him being a pervert so I was obviously sympathetic. Since I have special requirements and the housing market is competitive I had little choice but to take the place when she put me down as one of her top choices from the candidates. It’s been 5 days of being nothing but courteous but I’ve already violated one of her impossible unspecified rules by switching on a radiator at night and she’s enraged. Passive aggressive behaviour, slamming doors, voice has gotten even louder, she starts shaking if I try to talk to her gently about anything, avoiding me and making a point of it, rage cleaning, messing with my stuff, just generally being rude and mean. She’s become disregulated within 5 DAYS. 5. FUCKING. DAYS.

Oh, and it turns out she’s on disability and doesn’t get out much so she will be here 5/7 days, the weekdays, while I wfh 🫠 It’s bringing back old trauma and I just can’t believe my home isn’t safe AGAIN