MCA Sobrang hirap na

I'm still on my healing process, not until this guy chatted me, kinagat ko na kasi halos lahat naman sila nagsasabi na mag welcome na ako ng iba sa buhay ko. I kinda like him, my mom LOVES him. Kamukha ni Kuya Engr. Napaka bait, napaka buting tao. And the way he chats me, nareremind na naman ako sayo.

He looks like he's asking for serious relationship as he asks for my parents. Bigla ako nalungkot. Di ko pala alam na pinagmamasdan pala ako ni Mama and she notices how my face shifts.. Why? Bakit ganito? Bakit kada may papasok sa buhay ko; sumasakit yung puso ko para sayo. Feeling ko nasasaktan parin kita. I know I'm not in the place anymore to wait for you pero why do I feel like I should be waiting for you? Sinabihan mo na ako na maghanap na ako ng iba bcs you told me that I deserves better. For god damn sake! Sinayang mo yung anim na taon ko sayo! Ilang buwan mo ako niligawan pero sa huli I deserves someone better? You are the fucking best, no one is better than you.

But yes. I admit. Sa lahat ng aspeto, he is better than you. Nasa foreign siya ngayon bcs of his studies; while you, dito ka lang sa bansa nakapag-tapos. He came from a big family. May kaya sa buhay. Younger than you. Idk if he can beat you sa looks but you are all damn tall, dark, and handsome. My god, I just realized while typing this that I have a type.

I know he is better than you sa lahat ng aspects. But why after all the hurt you've given to me, I know deep down na you are still the best for me. Ang hirap mong palitan. Natatakot ako na baka kahit anak na ng presidente o bilyonaryo ang mag-akyat ng ligaw saakin, tanggihan ko parin.

Nagiging distant lahat ng lalaking nagtatangka saakin kasi.. alam siguro nilang mahal parin kita? Idk. Gustohin ko man silang i-welcome pero.. di ko alam. Di pa ata time. I wanna say na dyan ka na muna sa puso't isipan ko but I can't. I need to move on na. I'm so flirty, slutty, so inlove to you pero di ko na mahanap sa buto-buto at kaso-kasuan ko yung ganung characteristics ko. Parang ibang tao na ako ngayon. Di ko na alam kung paano makipag usap sa opposite sex. Ang bilis ko ng mawalan ng gana sakanila. Few hours ko lang sila kausap pero parang ayaw ko na.

I can't even take care of myself. I'm started to gaining weight na dati you always told me that you never met a girl that are sexy like me or kasing liit ng bewang ko, ngayon wala. You know I don't eat carbs pero ngayon yun lang ang gusto kong kainin. Don't get started with my pimples, na dati you are always amaze kasi kahit wala akong skin care but clear skin parin ako.

What kind of sickness is this? Idk, all I know is, I might die sa sickness na ito. Please heart let go mo na siya. Ako na nahihirapan sayo 😔