Questioning my faith

I’ve been back and forth with my faith my whole life. I loved reading the Bible as a child, though never enjoyed going to mass, and always had questions about the faith.

Like most people my biggest question has been why we would be put through so much suffering by a loving God. Religious leaders usually point to the “free will” argument, but if that were the case, why would we suffer tragedies outside of our will, like natural disasters and cancers? Especially children!

I also don’t understand the view of some people that anyone who doesn’t proclaim their faith before death will go straight to hell, no matter how kind of a person they were on Earth.

At the same time, I find the idea that there is no law of good and evil difficult to accept. In a world without a God, what is a convincing argument for evil actions actually being wrong? I worry that without religion we’ll be lost.

Any takes on what I‘ve said here would be really appreciated :)