Low HCG and feeling lost

I am 13dp5dt, I got transferred a 3BB going strong toward a 4BB. Today was my first beta, but it is only 37 IU/L. And since I am bleeding on and off with a sore back, I think I know where this is headed. And my heart is broken.

The doctors said, that they expect the bleeding to continue and that this is a chemical pregnancy. I will have ny 2nd beta on thursday.

I feel so lost. And this point I am so afraid, that I will never be a mom. And I feel it all the way in my bones. ❤️‍🩹