AIO for feeling scammed by one of my only friends and kind of creating distance because of this ?

so basically me(21F) has a close friend and our birthdays are like 2 weeks apart. I am kinda in a loner era currently, esp. since 2 of my friends moved away, my brother is away at college, my sister just moved out so yea outside of work im alone a lot lol. so when my friend told me abt her bday dinner despite my reservations i decided to go and enjoy. This friend she doesnt work but she lives pretty comfortable due to her not having bills and financial support from her family, which i have as well and im grateful but i do work and i dont have the space to always be as impulsive with my money because of my expenses.

SITUATION OVERVIEW: Anyways so fast forward her bdays october 29th mine is nov14th but she always does something the first week in november and me the second. I feel bad for sometimes missing out on her bday plans because of how much they can overlap but she showed up for me last year so i took the day off and i had the intent of doing the same. So beforehand i was sen a link of a prefixed menu ad was told to zelle $75 for my meal to her older sister who was planning this on her behalf essentially. so i was like having to rush last minute get a outfit yk etc so money is alr being spent. so when we were going to the dinner its a few of us that left together (my friend, her sister & sister bf) from the same house and the others finding their own way. our reservation we were like an hr late and then 6 of the ppl she invited are like stallling mind you its an hr+ commute between boroughs. so 3 ppl dont show up and then the other 3 come an an hr and a half later we are just sitting waiting so at that time im already like over it but trying to enjoy still . So at the end of the dinner my friends sister(hosting) says we no longer apply for the prefixed menu so we just pay for our food im like ok.. so we have to split the bill which is fine but when i dont know the ppl im with i feel like some tend to take advantage of that and order extra. so i end up have to pay $180 for the cost of the meal and im thinking okay thats a lot for one night but since ill get my $75 back or itll be applied then okay it was a good night it is what it is.. But ff i have not received anything back nor any mention of that deposit just nothing.. and its rubbing me the wrong way.

AIO: I had asked her once abt the money like oh does the place have the deposit but since we zelled the sister in advance i dont the restaurant ever had that money. seems like The the sister kept the money to cover the expense spent on the planning n stuff. I feel like this is honestly kinda weird and scammy like as my friend of what 7yrs i feel like slighted ??? and then my birthday being 2 weeks after i rlly needed that money and it kinda set me back and its like the consideration is not there when i try to express that. regarding money we also had another instance where she told me i owed way more than probably true. But i dont even bother like trying to fight it because i dont want to add tension ad stuff. ill add extra details if necessary but basically am i missing something? am i delusional and OverReacting or is this valid ? TIA