Marriage

I decided to stay in my marriage, despite:

Hello redditers, the bulk of what I am going to tell you happened a couple of months ago, I have had to deal with all this, and the weight of doubts continues to take its toll on my spirit, I will tell you what happened, and I hope to hear your opinions:

I am 39 years old, and my wife (F37). We have a dream relationship, the truth is, I wouldn't change my wife for anything. We are very sexually active, and we both give up our lives to provide for our two children. About 2 months ago, I began to notice certain strange behaviors from my wife, distant, she made plans on the weekends to go out with friends, to go out with her aunt (I know she really went out with those people) but it was very uncharacteristic of her, since weekends are the only time of the week when we can do things together, she seemed to be avoiding me.

One of those weeks, he went out with a group of friends from work, including his boss. I'm usually a pretty trusting person, but I don't like strange things, so I asked her to please call me at whatever time the party ends so I can go pick her up. What is my surprise, when he calls me at 4:30 am, to tell me to open the door to his house, that he has left the keys. After opening the door, I asked him what had happened? That we had agreed that I would look for her... She told me that her boss told her that it wasn't necessary, that she would give him a ride.

Her boss has always inspired a lot of mistrust in me, so that morning, I decided to check her cell phone, in particular her conversations with her best friend.

Strange conversation 1: she tells him that her boss was going on vacation (several months before) and that she saw him as nervous, he said goodbye to her several times, and she didn't understand what was happening to him, and then "he threw himself at her, and gave her a huge hug and stared at him, as if he were going to kiss her."

The friend asks him how he felt?

My wife replied, nothing, that she hopes this nonsense goes away soon, because it makes her feel uncomfortable.

2nd strange conversation

She tells her friend that the boss called a meeting when everyone had already left, and that he spent the entire time making eyes at her and poking her in the eye, etc. She tells her friend that she hopes she never has to meet him like this again.

Obviously all this turned my world upside down, we had never kept secrets like this from each other. To make matters worse, she CHOSE to be alone with him in a car at 4 in the morning.

After these messages, I got many MANY messages in which my wife tells her friend that she has HUGE gossip to tell her, but that she would rather call her so as not to leave evidence in the chat THOSE EXACT WORDS.

Once we talked about it, my wife told me that he only made advances to her those two times (which I know is not true, because of the friend's reaction, when she asked him "what did you feel?" Obviously it was not the first time they had brought up the subject, a more appropriate reaction would have been that? Is your boss after you? I don't know). The fact is that she swears to me that after those interactions she put a very clear stop to him and he gave up, and that is why she agreed to let him bring her home, because he had already stopped looking for her.

The truth is I'm not stupid, I'm sure something has happened, and I'm trying to overcome it for the sake of my children.

Her boss has asked for a 1 year leave from work, and when she told me about it she started crying (this was before I confronted her) and at that moment, I told her "are you crying because your boss is leaving?" And he told me that simply, their work environment is toxic, they are pure women, and he used to put them in line.

As you can see, it's a lot of evidence, TOO MANY THINGS TO IGNORE, at least it seems to me, and at this point, although she doesn't admit it, I assume that something has happened, and I'm trying to turn the page.

Opinions? Tips?