Hello

I was semi-diagnosed with SPD. I say “semi” because I was 'briefly' diagnosed about a decade ago, then received a formal diagnosis this year but I think it was removed last month. My psychiatrist said I clearly have schizoid traits but not a “full-blown” SPD, since I’m not locking myself up in my room completely 24/7 (though honestly, I still feel pretty low-functioning. which is why I’m posting, to ask for advice on how to be more functional) I'll try to keep the post as short as I can

I’ve been exercising regularly for a year since it’s supposed to help with dopamine, but it hasn’t made much difference. I also take supplements as suggested by my psychiatrist (vitamin B complex, fish oil, magnesium glycinate, zinc, vitamins D and K with calcium, folic acid, and probiotics), but I still haven’t seen improvement. I used to take psychiatric medication too, but it didn’t help either, and I preferred not to continue, so we stopped.

I’ve always lacked drive and energy for as long as I remember. but since around April or May, things have worsened. (burning out from keeping up with everything for a long time I guess) I dissociate constantly, feel more anhedonic than ever, and struggle to enjoy or even do basic things. Everything feels like an obligation. I’ve become more withdrawn and have no energy left to “mask” or fake like I used to. I used to drink alcohol to escape these feelings (I'm not even sure what I'm trying to escape from) I feel alienated, disconnected from my surroundings, like an observer of life rather than a participant. I spend nearly all my time inside my own head, though I've been that way for soooo long

I don’t necessarily feel sad. I intellectualize everything. I can feel fine by using my mind only (well, just my own way of dealing with things..) Lately, strange enough I’ve been crying a lot when struggling, even though I don’t consciously feel like I’m struggling. My brain keeps insisting that I’m fine, but it’s exhausting to constantly reassure myself. I don’t know what’s happening and it also feels like existential dread to me

I’m unsure whether this is my schizoid traits worsening, a depressive episode layered on top, or maybe just dysthymia without SzPD. I don’t plan to see my psychiatrist again. I just don’t know how to improve my condition. Any advice would be appreciated. I wish I could go back to how I felt before May. the problems were still there, I don't want to change who I am, but at least I had enough energy to 'fake it' at the time,instead of only feeling I'm just overthrown by everything and cannot cope anymore