I don’t know how to be a friend anymore

I (29F) feel like I’m failing at friendships.

I cancel plans, I forget birthdays, I overthink messages until I delete them. I want to be there, but I’m exhausted all the time, and it feels like my friends are moving ahead without me.

They’re happy, and I should be too, but all I feel is… invisible. I don’t know how to bridge the gap between wanting connection and feeling incapable of giving it.

I keep thinking if I just disappear, maybe they’ll be better off without the awkward, tired version of me.

But I don’t want to disappear. I want to matter. I just don’t know how anymore.