been manifesting something since the longest time ever

a college, it was not accepting admissions due to some dispute with the administrative university. now the consolidated admission round is ending. my current college is very far away from the one i want. the universe has to grant that college to me. my manifestations have never come true. but they have to come true this time. i dont want to spend my 6 years so far away from my mom, after my father passed recently. life doesnt need to fuck me over more. ive been grateful for what ive had but ive always been fucked over in some way or the other. i have never lived normal. and if anything, i dont want to be away from my grieving mother.

if the universe doesnt help me now, i’ll stop believing in it. i will stop praying to god. ill never be religious again.

this is the final call.

i am so fucking done

so here is what it is- the college has to accept admissions and the deadline is 24 hours i have been manifesting this since 4 months. i cant be fucked over anymore ill give up on believing in ‘universe’ if this one thing doesn’t come true