It's like, rather than my mind being solid or mostly solid like it should be, it's actually soup lying in the dirt and only bits and pieces of it can move up to the 'consciousness'??

So. Basically. I envision a healthy singlet mind to be like, a cube of frozen.... soup..... Which is in front of the window to the outside. Sure, it can move slightly away, but it's default state is faithfully by the consciousness window.

Well my soup didn't freeze and it's on the ground, far from that window, and while there is a small globule (me) that's permanently held up to the window, parts of that (the others) may fall back down or come up, but my entire mind will never be completely at the window. My default state is in the dirt. If that makes sense

Chat am I just hungry

Soupbrained suspecting disordered plurality be like: so imagine a bowl of soup