I feel so misunderstood

I am 100% certain I have high functioning autism (Level 1). I’m also a social worker who works with children who have autism. And as I’m interviewing their parents to learn more about the child’s symptoms, I realize that holy crap I’m doing everything on this list.

At work my manager continuously puts his hand on my shoulder and grasps it, sort of like , Heya pal how’s it going, type of grasp.

I thought it was genuine, but now I think back throughout the last 4 months, and I’m realizing no this guy has been throwing subtle jabs at me this whole time. He obviously is trying to bitch me.

And I’m upset I never said anything in the moment. Even more upsetting is the fact that I actually thanked him for no reason because I’m applying for a promotion, and I just don’t want to lose my current job if I don’t get the new position. So I was trying to express appreciation for him “allowing me” to be on his team even though I know the guy can’t stand me for some reason.

I even had the most work completed last month on the entire floor, and this is only my fourth month working there.

Social settings are just so confusing. And yesterday I just cried and went to sleep early because people are just so mean. And I’m such a kind person, I love so easily.

I legit just need another autistic friend to talk to who understands. Someone who I can be weird and awkward with.

Thanks for reading.