Spotting an avoidant

I have a list of things I've come up with since I've now dealt with two FA's in one year. In my opinion these are red flags that give away their avoidance.

1. They tell you that you make them feel safe or that you feel so safe. That is codeword for I can't regulate myself so I'm going to depend on you for that.

2. They compliment how self aware or in touch with your emotions you are. That means that you are everything they aren't. They're going to latch on to you but it will be short lived.

3. They say they've never met someone like you or they put you on a pedestal. They're idolizing you because they want to be like you but they will soon face the uncomfortabiltiy of that and withdraw.

4. If they ever talk about their past relationships and nothing was ever their fault. This one is tricky because some of them will admit they messed up but theyll stop short of full ownership. Regardless, someone who is never wrong is a red flag as a narcissist or an avoidant.

5. They move on super fast. If they just got out of a relationship a few months ago, they will try to start a new one. You will notice that they'll talk aboit their ex a lot and it will show that they didn't process it, but they won't say that. Pay attention to this one.

6. Avoid dating apps or even friend apps. They are a playground from avoidants. Majority of people on dating apps are either anxious or avoidant. They are full of insecure and immature people.

These are my current thoughts based on my experiences.