I want to talk about my life

I am currently an international student studying in Thailand.I am from Myanmar,a country facing many political challenges right now.I struggle a lot mentally because I am neurodivergent.I am self diagnosed with autism,adhd and ocd.My whole life was in fight or flight mode.My special interest for autism is plastic surgery because I have body dysmorphia.I always felt insecure with my looks and wanted to do plastic surgery since I was 18.i am turning 23 this month and I will go to Korea next month to do plastic surgery.To be honest, I am afraid because doing plastic is not normalized in my home country but in Thailand.I will do it scared because it is my teenage dream.I don’t want a rich life.I just want a regulated nervous system,a pretty face and a peaceful life.It is so hard to live with a neurodivergent brain as a girl in the world that wasn’t built for neurodivergent people.I suffered from severe OCD subtypes like Harm OCD,Religious OCD and Real event OCD rather than cleaning OCD.I think I lived most of my time in my head being afraid of OCD intrusive thoughts more in real life.Life becomes more complex with autism and adhd.Sometimes I just wished a neurotypical brain more than anything in life.Because of my mental health and religious OCD,I became an atheist and I think it is free to live as an atheist.I want to get an official diagnosis for autism and adhd but it is so hard to get a diagnosis because mental health is not prioritized in Asian countries and there aren’t enough therapists here.