My dogs were poisoned

My two older dogs (6) noel and derieri sadly passed away a few days apart this week. It was extremely unexpected and the worst part is that I'm not in country so I never got the chance to say bye to them. Im so heartbroken im not sure how I can get over this soon cause I've been struggling to focus at work and it's affecting my performance. I raised them from the day they were born and i honestly feel like i failed them😔 anyways i just wanted to rant to people who would understand