he couldn’t get it up… and I took it personally

So last year I (25) met a 40 year old guy. He’s freshly in my city from Europe. He lives near my office so I went over, we got drinks at this bar/restaurant. I could tell he wasn’t feeling it. Idk what it was but just had a feeling. So after the date we said goodbye. I texted him like 2 days later and he said he wasn’t feeling well and that he had a fever, just in case I felt symptoms (I barely hugged the guy, idk why I’d have symptoms but whatever). Then I said oh well that explains your disinterest during the date, and he’s like no it wasn’t that, it’s just the age thing- i think we’re in 2 different places in our lives and I don’t see it working out.

So I was alittle bummed but it was totally fine. So a year goes by, we like each other’s IG stories, here and there I’ll respond or he’ll comment on my stories, like very casual friendship.

3 weeks ago he responds to one of my stories and says you’re really cute. I was like thanks… and he goes when can I see you again, you’ve been on my mind and I really like your energy. So I was like what the heck, anyway we planned to hang out.

So now I’m at his house, everything is great. He made us lunch, we hook up, like everything is fine. A few days after we go to brunch, I bring up the age thing that he mentioned last year and why he wants to date me now (I know, very pick-me of me). He says that age is still a factor but that he realized the gap will always be there and he really likes me so he got over it… it took him a year to message me. Anyway…

So last night I pick him up, we grab groceries to make dinner, drive to his apartment. We’re cooking and talking it was so cute. We ate dinner, convo was normal. Then he’s laying on the couch, I go over to kiss him, he asks me to get on top of him. We’re making out, he asks if we should go to the bedroom, i said sure. We’re on the bed and I can feel that he’s… soft. I didn’t say anything. Now he’s like semi hard. Just lots of making out. Then at some point he goes it’s just not happening tonight. I was like oh that’s totally fine, then he goes let me try again. Few seconds later he goes: yea no not happening tonight, i have a lot on my mind.

I immediately felt this wash over me like i took it so personally like did I do anything, do I smell like wtf. So at this point he’s 41 I’m 26 since we met last year.

We go back to the couch cuddle watch tv and all i could think about is asking him did i do anything. So i wait and wait, after 2 episodes of a show, I was like ok im going to head home, he walks with me grabbing my stuff and kisses me. And i said now i have a lot on my mind- he goes about what and I said what happened in the bedroom, did I do anything wrong. He’s like no I’m just tired and have a lot on my mind with work etc. So I was like ok it’s fine I just thought it was me. He kissed me hugged me, said thanks for a cute night and I went home.

Sooo, did I ruin it by asking him? is age a factor?