Update to our parents wanting us to leave our son with them when we move for my wife’s medical school

I know my life isn’t that bad compared to so many people right now. But it’s rough.

My wife and I are in our early 20s and have 4 year old son. We’ve been living with her parents l, and have recently had a horrible fight with them. They want us to leave our son with them next year when we move for her to go to medical school. We said no. We were living with her dad and stepmom and they told us to leave. I’m working, and she’s in school and works PT and honestly we could have had more saved.l but we’ve been paying things off and having a son is expensive.

The first night we went to a hotel with our son. It wasn’t a good situation and her mom told her she and our son could stay with her, but not me. Obviously she and our son being safe and somewhere warm is the most important thing, so I insisted she go there and I stayed with a buddy. It’s only been a few nights and I’ve been looking for a place for the three of us every free second. Our city is SO expensive, and all I’ve been able to find that’s available and we can afford are far away or in dangerous area. My wife is still in school and the safest place I can find for us is almost 45 minutes one way. I feel like such a failure of a husband. I miss my son and most of all I miss my wife. I have been getting my son after work so that she can study, but what kind of husband and father can’t provide a place for us?

Even though her mom is letting them stay there (she said she’s not going to let her daughter or grandson be homeless…..) she won’t watch him while we work/ go to school like she used to. I know we were really lucky don’t yell at me but my wife has had to miss class/ ask for favors from friends because I work full- time and do not have flex pto and basically my only option would be unpaid fmla.

My parents won’t take my calls, and have my sisters ignoring me too. My brother offered me to stay with him, but his apartment isn’t in a super safe area and he has three other roommates. My buddy - the one I’m staying with - his parents have offered for us to stay with them. They’re lovely and have known us forever, but staying with people again kind of scares me. I know my wife and son are safe but she’s miserable and busy, I feel bad she’s the main one responsible for our son right now while she feels bad I can’t see him as often as here. And, not to brag, but I take good care of my wife, making sure she has lunch packed and all her stuff before school so she can focus on her grades, and now she doesn’t have that.

I never thought they’d cut us off. I feel like a failure to my wife and son. This sucks.