Ex girlfriend broke up with me over WhatsApp after 5 months [30M] [36F]

It’s my first time posting, I’m not sure why I’m hear but I think it’s because I’m looking for advice and other people’s thoughts on the matter. I’ll try and explain the best I can.

Me [30M] and her [36F] matched on bumble, we hit it off straight away, conversation was easy and natural. We exchanged phone and started dating, 2 months in and I told her I really liked her and we made it official. Everything was great, we had lots of similar interests like walking, keeping fit, nature, spending quality time with one another. We lived 20 miles apart so we didn’t see one another everyday but we’d see each other 3-4 times a week, she’s a single mother and I work full time so we’d work around this and meet up on the weekends while I was off work and her ex husband would have the bairn. Everything seemed great, we had great communication, loved our time together, amazing sex, we would get excited to see one another. She was open and honest from the start with her past, she had gone off the rails and divorce her ex husband after 4 years, she had postnatal depression and would hurt herself by getting involved in one nights stands, failed short term relationships, choosing the wrong people, she had been hurt in the past by narcissistic ex husband but took a year out to work on herself. I was the first person she dated since having time out. Her guard was up but over time I felt she lowered and let me in, the sex changed in this time too, we felt closer and the connection was stronger, the best sex I’ve ever had, she thought so too, it was fun, sexy, passionate and close. During this time her ex husband started taking her to caught, I could see a change in her, her personality started to change and I could see she wasn’t herself. She upped her antidepressants and started struggling with her mental health, anxiety and depression. Being a single mam she didn’t have a lot of time to herself and when she did have time she’d be with me going on lovely walks, meals, tea and watching films although we never actually finished any of the films if you know what a mean. The last month of the relationship was different, I knew she was going through a difficult time and we were both very caring people, I told her I loved her and I was there for support, she wasn’t used to a guy like me, I had genuine love for this woman, the first time I’ve been in love. Although she never actually said she loved me, the signs were there, kissing me forehead, hands, laughing at my bad jokes. I would take her flowers every week and call her beautiful, I’m a old fashioned types of guy and she loved that about me. The last month of the relationship her mental health was getting worse, she started wanting some time to herself, it was knew to me as we always wanted to spend time together but we were both adults and I agreed. We started seeing each other 2-3 times a week, still messaging all day everyday, the sex changed a little with her being on higher antidepressant, she started being snappy and would get very upset easily, she kept threatening that she would push me away and dumped me, she picked up and this and said she needed one or two days of no contact and some time to herself which I agreed on and told her I was there if she needed me, two days past and I haven’t heard from her so I messaged her on the morning saying I was thinking of her and that I hope she was okay, she replied quickly saying that she missed seeing me and told me she had a nervous breakdown during the time of no contact, I was concerned and let her know I was there for her. I bought her favourite chocolates, red roses and a card (the card was sobby, basically a love card saying good luck for getting though this hard time and that I love her and I’m there to support her) she invited me in for a cup of tea and a talk, we chatted while holding hands, everything seemed good. Later that day when I was at work she messaged me on WhatsApp saying that she loved her card and flowers and said it was very thoughtful of me and that I had perked her right up. She also said she missed me sexually and was horny from seeing me earlier that day. Messaging was back to normal and it seemed like she was happy. We had planned to meet up in a couple of days, the night before we were due to meet up we were sexting, she was horny and was asking about my new bedding and that she wanted to leave her scent everywhere in my house, we were very fun in this way and always had great sex, she was absolutely beautiful. During our messages about sex I told her that I bought the kama sutra book and she absolutely flipped, she said why! I said that I’ve always wanted to read the book and she said well obviously you think our sex isn’t good enough, I tried phoning twice but she declined both calls. A minute later she said that she thinks we should end things and that I should find someone new. I told her that it wasn’t anything to do about that and that she had nothing to worry about and that I loved her and I thought our sex was amazing. She replied with a I just can’t do it anymore, the feeling isn’t mutual anymore. I’m blocking you now!

I’m left consumed, we always had that passionate and close feeling and we never had a bad sexual experience, I know her state of thinking isn’t straight being on high antidepressants but this was so out of character and she also said she’d never dumped anyone through text. I had a terrible sleep that night. I woke up early the next day and left a not in her letter explaining that I was sorry for upsetting her and I hope to hear from her again. I noticed her car coming into the street, I walked over and said can we talk, her reply was eww, why would I want to talk to you? I was confused why she was so upset and out of character. She tried running me over in her car(although she did stop) all I wanted to do was talk but she wouldn’t let me talk, she laughing at everything I said and even dialled 999 on her phone and for me to stop harassing her, she told me to never go to her house again. I told her I loved her and she said she fking hated me and that I was a little boy in a man’s body, a creep. All of these name go against everything what she said in the relationship (she always said I was the first man that actually cared about her and she wasn’t used to it but she loved it) She was extremely angry like I had cheated on her or something. She gave me no closure and told me to Fk off and find someone new. I said do the flowers and card mean nothing to you? She relied with no, not anymore there going in the bin! I got in my car and drove away, there was no reasoning with her, I’m not even sure she would have read the note I left her.

It’s been 4 days, I know I’ll never hear from her again. I’m left without closure. I know it was only 5 months but I was in love with this woman, and I feel heartbroken. I’m struggling to sleep, eat and find enjoyment in anything I do, I’m miserable at work. The only thing I’m enjoying is going for walks with my dogs. She is on my mind morning till night, I know it’ll get easier in time but i really loved her and for us to end like this is tragic. I’ve deleted me WhatsApp, photos of us. I still have her number but I know I should delete that too.

Like I’ve said I haven’t had the closure, I’ve told a couple of friends and family and they think it’s because she was under mental stress. What are your thoughts on this?

Thank you.