Need Some Encouraging Words Please (My Doctor my have Doomed Me)

For context, I am a male, mid 30s who lives with and takes care of his 90 year old Grandmother whom I share a kitchen and laundry with.

So starting back in June of 2025, my grandma became sick with either like the flu or cold or something. Her primary prescribed her antibiotics and after that she said she was having watery diarrhea 5-8 times a day for almost 3 weeks. Her GI Doctor prescribed her antidiarrheals that did not seem to help. He also ordered her a CDiff test that came back NEGATIVE (Not sure which one.) After about 3 weeks her symptoms resolved on their own and she has been fine since according to her.

About 2 weeks into this, at work one day I too had like 3 bouts of diarrhea, went home, took an Imodium because I had a Hinge date of all things that day lol. Then I was constipated for like 4 days, took a laxative, and had a very constipated BM. After that things kind of went back to normal.

Then a few weeks later, I noticed a change to my stool, even though i had a pretty consistent diet. It started getting very yellowish/tan in color. Then started to get a bit mushier. I've had pretty normal (Type 3 and 4 stools) they changed to Type 5 stool. One other thing is my bowel movements have always had a pretty consistent smell as well, kind of like burning rubber. But the smell changed to a new, distinct smell. It smelled like PUNGENT fresh, sweet wheat bread. The smell was so strong id flush the toilet, go to the other room, and could still smell it.

I then experienced some mild cramping, and also my guts felt like CEMENT. Like I was always aware of them. Also my GERD, which I've had since I was a kid, was acting up like I never felt in my life. Like I would GERD cough and gag and gag until I spit up phlegm.

My life was like this from mid June to about beginning of November because, I went to my primary mid August, they said just take some metamucil (which did help bulk it up a bit) and call my GI but it took me until NOVEMBER 3RD.

I only been to this guy once years before, told him my symptoms, and he sent me for an MRI and tests. MRI came back fine, I tested POSITIVE for CDiff A+B toxins.

Now here is where my nightmare begins, I have only been now doing research after the fact and discovered this subreddit, so please do not scoff at my choices made here. My GI Dr prescribed me fucking FLAGYL and a probiotic.

2 days into the Flagyl i had 2 of the most normal poops I ever had, like textbook Type 3 and 4. I felt great. Then the next two days my movements went back to the way they were before. Then, I started having diarrhea. (During this time I also had been, because it didnt say not too, eating a ton of calcium and artificial sugar. I normally eat a lot of pizza drink tons of milk.)

Day 6 into the 4x 10 day course, I felt like death that night. Like the only way I could explain is it felt like I was dying I couldn't move, I couldn't fall asleep, my stomach was cramping like crazy, I could barely hold any food or water down. I had to go to the ER I was so dehydrated. They just gave me fluids and sent me home because I couldn't make for their CDiff test. Both they and my GI DR said I must finish the Flagyl. Over the course of the past 5 days I've probably eaten 1 pint of rice and 4 pieces of bread.

My course of antibiotics is now finished, Day 1 off it and I feel the worst I've ever felt in my life. My stomach is still it knots and feels warm, cramping, muscle spasms, feeling anxious, couldn't muster to even eat a piece of bread this morning. Drinking pedialyte but still feeling extremely weak. and, I am having straight up explosive diarrhea sometimes Type 6 sometimes Type 7. I feel extreme urgency, and I feel like I can't even trust my farts without having to run to the bathroom. Having weird tasting GERD. Still can't manage to stomach anything. Continuing to take a probiotic and FLORASTOR once daily.

Having now read this subreddit, my fear is my DR doomed me because I had maybe a mild colonization but the FLAGYL has now wiped out my entire biome and the CDIFF is running rampant. I called them today and they said the DR went on vacation there's nothing they can do for me except order me a 2 week Vanco script retest in 2 weeks. I'm afraid to take the Vanco because my gut is already so weak and if Vanco made me feel how the Flagyl did I'd probably just keel over at this point.

I feel extremely hopeless after reading everything on this subreddit like I will never recover from this like I will now lose my job over this because I'm stuck 10ft from my bathroom and these people at the DRS and ER don't seem to give a fuck or that I'm gonna give this to my Grandma (I am staying isolated from her, we don't share a bathroom.) My only little piece of hope I'm telling myself is that it does not SMELL like CDiff. I will never forget that smell as long as I live.

Please Reddit I need some kind words and some advice on what to do here.