I’m forever alone, struggle being with others but I’m not lonely

I’ve been in plenty of relationships, okay ones and horrible ones. I’m autistic and struggle in all relationships. All of them have more downside than being alone.

For example: on a scale from 0-10 (0 beings unhappy, 10 being extremely happy):

When I’m alone I’m anywhere from a 3-9.

When I’m dating I can be anywhere from a 0-10.

I much rather be alone and forgo the 10, if there is a chance of a 0, 1, 2. Alone I am NEVER at a 0-2.

Ppl will say “well you just have to meet the right person/people” and my response is…. “I rather not risk ever being 0-2 (even if it doesn’t happen with someone it’s not worth the risk) even if it’s temporary, for a chance to get a 10. I’m content at 3-9.