Re-applicant to med school: how do I stay positive/motivated in a very uphill battle?

I competed two years of an MD program, took Step 1 once and didn’t pass, and was kicked out. My grades were otherwise good and I have zero disciplinary infractions, so it was pretty devastating after working for years to achieve my dream.

Now I’m trying to re-apply, but honestly I’m so sad and defeated by the reality of knowing I almost certainly will have to go DO or to the Caribbean.

How the heck do I find the motivation and positivity to put myself through this process again, especially now that I know just how random and biased the admissions process is? I truly want to do nothing else with my life, but I don’t have a mind-blowing academic pedigree or any close friends/family who are in medicine (or that could help me financially). Can someone please tell me my dream of doing heme/onc (for personal reasons, very close to my heart) is worth pursuing? Because right now I don’t know if I have the strength to fight an upward academic battle for another decade - especially when the actual medicine-learning is hard enough.