I think I discovered joy

I started taking antidepressants maybe half a year ago and I also recently got a dog. Every once in a while I get these moments when I’m laying around with my pup where I feel genuinely fulfilled and deeply happy.

My whole life I thought that managing anxiety and negative thoughts was pretty much the goal and that a dull contentment was the best anyone could hope for. I thought everyone had this piece inside them that always felt empty, lonely, and not good enough. I always experienced highs that would tip into lower lows when it was over. I thought I was doing a really good job of modulating my emotions, staying grounded and grateful.

But this is a new kind of love and joy and peace I’ve never felt before. I’ve actually cried a few times because I honestly didn’t think I (or anyone) was capable of feeling this way. Just wanted to share in case anyone else needs to hear that things really can get better and even surpass your expectations.