I just want to eat without feeling guilty

I want to enjoy food but I just can't. I enjoy it in the moment of eating, but once I'm done I feel terrible.

If I didn't get cravings, I could go days, even weeks without food. And I'm not exaggerating either. I'm being serious.

It's so exhausting. I wanna recover. I don't want to get top the point of having a feeding tube or being hospitalized.

I've been told multiple times "food is fuel" and that if I "don't eat my body could shut down" . Which is all true, but my brain doesn't seem to understand that.