Mental well being

Male 28 living in London, constantly running away from reality to avoid feeling the hopelessness and pointlessness of life, working, having family, insurance, friends, saving money, getting taxed whole life to get taxed again when you die, everything is expensive yet has no meaning, the world is one big delusion, here we worry about having everything in check like insurance or house in order etc, yet the same “human” will be violated abused and unalived it’s such a horrible thing to feel like the life we live and all the stuff we worry about is so pointless for all the man made crimes that happen, why bother at all as in the end we die anyway why struggle at all, for along time I was motivated for saving money and now that’s a false aim,

I’m stuck just feeling bad, no friends no future, I don’t like who I am, I do weekly therapy but even that is just sweet talking and not be truthful with the client otherwise they won’t have a long term income, no sick = no money