I'm not mysterious, I just can't tell you anything about myself without making you feel bad

The seemingly small moments I cherish are just neutral and uninteresting to you. To me, they are the reason I'm still here.

I can't tell you about my dream, you achieved it by existing. I dream of feeling safe in my own skin, and get well enough to take good care of myself. If I don't teach myself everything from scratch, It won't be bearable enough to stay.

You were taught how to be. You seem to know that you are good enough. You expect people to tell you that you did well, and find it natural when someone wants to be your friend. You have your own problems and insecurities, but you can call home.

I wish I could be just like you and forget all about me.

I wish I didn't have to feel like I don't belong anywhere, and I wish you would stop showing me that I'm right.

You act the way you do, because you have a foundation to stand on. I'm just building mine. I don't have anything to entertain you with, so you get annoyed whenever I'm unwell. You don't know me, but time has fooled you into believing that you do. So you shoved me into a box that you've generously shared with other people. Everything is okay only as long as you're okay, my feelings don't matter because you don't relate to me.

Identity is tricky. I'm still learning to know myself. I don't know about all the things I like and dislike, I only have one goal: to not become like them. No matter what happens, I can't let myself turn into them. I don't think you understand how shaky the ground I stand on is when I have to choose to move away from everything that is familiar to me. If I stay in it, it will swallow me whole.

I have to actively challenge my world view and rebuild my life, all without hurting myself or others in the process. There's a lot on my mind, but I can't share any of it with you.

I tried, but you didn't seem to have the emotional intelligence to hear me. Instead, you took it personally. Why can't you accept that you got a head start in life? It doesn't nullify any of your problems or your pain, I got a head start in other areas of life.

I wish we could understand each other, but I can't belong.