I (30F) got kicked out of a concert venue and got very upset about it

I feel terrible for how I reacted to an injustice and believe I was having a form of panic attack.

My boyfriend and I live 5 hours away from each other. Last night I drove the 5 hours to attend a concert of a band he is a big fan of and was excited to see the band myself. We got one drink at the bar and had another drink while watching the concert. I left to go to the bathroom, while in the bathroom I may have dropped some of my make up on the floor after my bag opened up (this is a normal occurrence for me and I'm regularly a clumsy person), I used the bathroom, applied lipstick and replied to something a girl at the sink next to me said about my outfit. When leaving the bathroom to rejoin my boyfriend at the stage the security gestured me towards the door and told me I need to leave. I said "oh is the show over?". They said someone saw me stumbling around in the bathroom so I need to leave. When I said I wasn't stumbling, 2 more security guards said I was too drunk to stay and shoved me out the door. I was in such shock because I was no where near drunk and having a great time with my boyfriend. I told them my partner was inside and they just didn’t care. I don't know if someone had a problem with me and I don't want to believe it was race or gender related (I am a brown female and this concert was 95% white attendance) but I don't know why they were being so harsh to me. I'm not sure if they mistook me for someone else or maybe dropping my make up was read so incredibly unforgivingly. I just know I wasn't drunk or deserved to be shoved out.

I can get over these kinds of injustices. My problem and why I'm uspet is with how I chose to react to the injustice. Thinking about it makes me feel so awful. Once I was outside I pleaded with them that I wasn't drunk, they just didn't care and I've ever been treated like that before so I started crying and getting panicked. I'm an emotional person and I hate that I reacted this way because pleading with them and crying just made me feel worse, it felt like I was validating them saying I was drunk. I started saying desperate things like I would tell the owners of the venue and stuff like that, thinking of anything I could so they'd believe I was sober, that my job is serious and I would never be stumbling around and I regret this so much because I sounded like a drunk person when I was actually panicked about what was happening. People outside the bar tried to help me calm down and some people I know saw me crying and it was just awful and embarrassing. All the while no one actually would validate I wasn't drunk because now I was crying and venting and no one was around when they actually kicked me out, the invalidation that surrounded me was making me spiral. When my boyfriend finally found me outside he went to go speak to the security on my behalf and when he came back he was seemingly supportive but I spiraled further after he said this "well it wasn't just one drink, it was 2". I felt like he partially thought they were in the right, but he corrected this since and is supportive, he initally made me feel so invalidated momentarily and I got so upset. I ended up bawling my eyes out in a parking lot crying about how I felt and so mad at him because I needed him in that moment when no one else cared to listen. I was so emotional (think panic attack) and people heard and saw and I just feel so embarrassed.

Continued in comments...