AITA for unfriending my best friend and sending a "mean" message after her cousin accused me of messing with her money?

I (18F) used to be best friends with a girl we'll call her leprechaun (18F). For years, I was the friend who always showed up. If she needed someone, I was there — no matter what I was dealing with or how inconvenient it was for me.

So let me give you some background on the kind of person she is and all the questionable things she's done in the past.

Multiple people warned me that being friends with her was a bad idea. They told me she was controlling, judgmental, and draining. I never listened. I always defended her because I wanted to believe our friendship meant something.

But she was always difficult. She constantly shifted her identity labels (one week shes bisexual, week shes transgender, the week after that shes gender fluid ect. ), judged anyone who didn’t immediately adapt to whatever she claimed she was that week, and anytime I said I’m straight, she gave me a dismissive “just for now” in a condescending tone. It made me uncomfortable, but I swallowed it to avoid conflict.

One thing that I will never forget about leprechaun is how she bragged about breaking up a couple back when she was in Grade 9. The couple she interfered with were in Grade 12 — 18 and 19 years old — and she was only 15. They were a lesbian couple, and instead of feeling any guilt or shame, she was proud of what she did. She talked about it like it was funny or impressive that she caused drama in a serious relationship. Honestly, it showed me early on that she had no boundaries and no respect for other people’s relationships.

Another thing was her complete lack of hospitality. Every time I went to her house, it felt like unpaid labour. Even if it wasn’t a sleepover — even if I came in the morning just to hang out — it was almost expected that I help her wash dishes, clean her room, tidy up the house, whatever she needed. Coming from an Indian household, that was crazy to me. If you’re having a guest over, you clean the day before so your guest can relax. That’s basic respect. But with her, I felt like a housemaid instead of a friend.

She also had this pattern where every single guy friend she had, she’d either want to date or start doing sexual things with. She has zero boundaries. And she has what I can only describe as “dating urgency” — she’d meet a guy and be in a relationship literally two days later. She’s been like this since private school. Everything was always rushed, dramatic, messy, and impulsive.

One incident I’ll never forget was back in primary school. One of her friends had just broken up with her boyfriend — her first boyfriend ever — and instead of being supportive, leprechaun immediately went up to her and asked, “Is it okay if I flirt with your ex-boyfriend?” But the way she said it wasn’t an actual question. Her tone made it clear she wasn’t asking for permission; she was just trying to stir something up or annoy the girl. She knew they had history, she knew it was fresh, and she still didn’t care.

When my current best friend and I were still close to her, we basically acted like her therapists. Every time she had a problem — something at home, drama with her boyfriend, school issues — she’d run to us. We always gave her advice, tried to help, tried to guide her. And she NEVER listened. Not once. She just kept repeating the same mistakes again and again, then coming back to us to complain.

She’s also switched friend groups constantly because she couldn’t keep a stable friendship. No one could deal with her because she’s so self-centered, jealous, and judgmental. The only friend she has now is another girl at our school who nobody likes either — so honestly, they’re a perfect match for each other. They function well together because no one else wants their energy.

And the only reason her current relationship is lasting is because her boyfriend is basically a puppy dog. He’s one of those guys where, if you say “come,” he comes. If you say “jump,” he asks how high (there was also another incident at school where on Valentine's she saw other girls getting flowers from their boyfriends and she TOLD him he NEEDED to get her flowers as well so he had to use his money and buy the expensive roses that they were selling at school for her). He never stands up for himself and lets her walk all over him. She can do whatever she wants, however she wants, and he just accepts it. He’s the perfect person for her because he allows her to get away with everything without consequences.

On top of all that, she was extremely jealous. She treated me like I belonged to her because I was “her only friend.” Meanwhile, I had other friends — and she hated that.

We ended up in different Maths classes, and mine had girls I used to be very close to. Since she wasn’t there, I naturally reconnected with them. We laughed together, sat together, talked like old times. One day after class, we were all walking out laughing, and leprechaun was waiting for me. When I walked over, she gave me this disgusted, judgmental look — like she was offended that I dared to enjoy myself with anyone who wasn’t her.

I ignored it. But not long after, when I was at her house, she suddenly burst into tears and told me she didn’t like that I had other friends. She said I was her only friend and she didn’t like sharing me. It felt suffocating and unfair.

Then she got a boyfriend — and overnight, she replaced me completely. Her whole personality became him. She ignored me unless it was convenient for her.

The breaking point was when I really needed her. Things were bad at home and I asked if I could come over. She told me she was “busy.” I didn’t question it. The next day, she accidentally revealed she wasn’t busy at all — she went on a boat ride with her boyfriend and his family. She lied to me while I was struggling.

After that, I pulled away from the friendship. Quietly. No fight. No drama.

While we were still friends, she had asked me to log her Gmail account into my tablet so I could play Minecraft with her. Her cousin we'll call Minion (17F) had bought the game. After we stopped being friends, I deleted Minecraft, but I completely forgot her Gmail was still on the device. Keep in mind I've never had a problem with Minion she's a nice girl and we got along great the problems only started now after she sent her message.

Months later, out of nowhere, both leprechaun and Minion texted me. Here are the exact messages they sent:

leprechaun: “Hi [My name ♡], it's leprechaun. I wanted to ask if you could please remove your tablet from my google account please. I find it unnecessary that it's still linked to your tablet and I'd like for you to remove it as soon as possible please and delete the minecraft Minion bought. Thanks. Have a nice day further.”

Ley: “Hey, I bought minecraft that you have on your tablet. That you got off of leprechaun's account. It's my money you are messing with. Please remove leprechaun's account. With the minecraft.”

Their tone felt accusatory — like I was doing something shady or intentionally messing with their stuff, even though I hadn’t touched that account since the friendship ended and I had deleted the game ages ago. It felt like they were ganging up on me for no reason, and not long after, I found out that leprechaun renamed my tablet to “stupid cunt.”

So I’m planning on sending my own messages to them:

For leprechaun: Your account is still on my tablet, and I’ll be taking it off today. It’s been sitting there untouched for a year, so I’m not sure why it suddenly became so important. Honestly, it just comes across like you’re trying to get some attention over something that never even mattered, considering you had ample time to tell me to take it off.

As for the name you changed my tablet to, my mom will be speaking to your mom about that. It was inappropriate, and I think it’s best handled by them.

I’m in the middle of my NSC exams [Final Exams in SA] and focusing on distinctions, so I really don’t have the time or energy to get caught up in unnecessary back-and-forth. I’ll take your account off so this can be the end of whatever you were trying to start. I’d rather put my attention toward things that actually matter right now.

For Minion: I’m removing her account from my tablet — I don’t want anything connected to her anymore. I haven’t touched her account, I haven’t used Minecraft, and I deleted it a long time ago. It’s really not that deep.

What I do find interesting is how quickly you stepped in to defend her, considering you might not know her as well as you think you do. Before coming to me with accusations, it might be worth taking a closer look at how she speaks about the people around her when they’re not there. Especially after that day we all played DND together — her attitude when you left was… eye-opening. I always thought you and I were friends until you sent that message.

And just to be clear, Ash was the one who wanted to install it on my tablet. Acting like I stole her account or your game isn’t fair or accurate.

So please stop assuming things and turning something so small into an issue. I’m removing the account today, and as far as I’m concerned, this is the end of it.

So....Would I be the A-hole for sending these messages ?