how to cope with being ghosted

I (24F) have a long-running, emotionally layered connection with someone (24F) I used to work with. A couple years ago, we were baristas together and developed this subtle but strong bond — full of teasing, emotional trust, and flirtation. Nothing ever officially happened back then, but the chemistry was always there.

We reconnected recently and it felt like things picked right back up — but this time with more intensity. Over the last month or so, we’d FaceTime for hours, stay up late texting, send voice notes, and play video games together. She’d ask deep, vulnerable questions about my past — stuff I didn’t even share with most friends — and she’d open up about her own depression and regrets. One night she said, “I don’t wanna be alone tonight,” and just called me without warning. Another time, she called me first thing in the morning on my birthday. Said I was the first person she thought of.

We had a long-running Snap streak. She’d open every message, send selfies, and even when she was offline for a day, she’d still come back to keep it going. She mentioned coming back into town for a friendsgiving and said we should go stargazing or have a picnic. She invited me to visit her in the state she lived in too — offered me a spot in her trailer and joked that we could just share her bed.

The flirtation ramped up too:

- we were on facetime while i was doing my hair, and i told her i had to turn the camera off to shower, and she asked, “you can’t keep it on?”

- we’d go in a circle telling each other how special we were to each other.

- shower each other in compliments about how much we appreciate and love each other.

- that she wanted to write me for my birthday and how it’s something she’s only ever done with her ex before.

- called our hangout for when she got down here a date.

The last night we spoke, we were still laughing and close. I didn’t feel any shift. But then, the next day… nothing. I texted her something light, then tried calling once the day after (I thought her phone might be on DND). I sent one soft message after that — just a check-in.

No response.

She’s barely been active on socials. Her phone’s not off. She opened one of my snaps, so I know she’s seen me. But she hasn’t said a word. It’s now been several days of complete silence.

I’m not even sure we were “talking” romantically — we both said we weren’t looking for anything serious. But it still felt real. It felt like something beautiful was unfolding, even if it didn’t have a label.

I’ve been spiraling wondering:

Did she get back with her ex?

Did I overshare something that scared her off?

Did I mean less to her than she did to me?

My sister helped me set a boundary- if she hasn’t reached out by November 30, I’ll consider it ghosting and try to let go. But right now, I feel stuck in limbo, like I was building a bridge with someone and she just disappeared mid-construction.

Thanks for letting me vent. If anyone’s been through something similar — I’d love to hear how you handled it. I feel so dumb for being this heartbroken over something that technically wasn’t “official,” but my heart hasn’t caught up to that logic.