Failed a standing test (or two)

Hi, this is mostly just a rant but I’m struggling so much and I just need to get it out.

I’ve had symptoms since spring but I’ve chalked it up to stress, allergies and heat intolerance that I’ve had before. When summer hit I felt especially awful but I just thought I needed to push through it.

Then I fainted in the shower, out of nowhere on a random Monday. The weekend before and the day of I worked A LOT (not exactly all-nighters but I wasn’t sleeping a lot and not taking care of myself). The next day I try to see my doctor but find out they’re on holiday leave and I have to see a different doctor. Long story short: In the end the doctor and also my doctor took my blood and I asked for them to measure my blood pressure because after I fainted I measured it at home and it was really low. So a week after I fainted I have a blood pressure monitor for 24 hours. I go back and the doctor tells me my blood pressure is fine but my heart is tachycardic a lot. He tells me to go to the hospital.

Now we’re in the hospital and they don’t take me seriously AT ALL. I tell them I have chest pain, palpitations and so on and they simply ignore it (isn’t even mentioned in the report) They do an echo, two ECGs and a 24 hour holter monitor. They asked me for pre-existing mental illnesses and I was honest (stupid) and told them about my PTSD and depression. I also told them I’ve done a lot of therapy (and finished 5 years ago) and am coping really well with it and it’s not an issue for me at the moment. I should’ve known it was over at that moment. They did ask me about that while performing a standing test with me. My heart rate went from 122 -> 150 (first test failed LOL), it kept increasing and was sustained. My blood pressure also increased. Sadly they did start the test with me sitting down first and not laying down. They discharged me the next day without even taking a look at the holter monitor, saying my heart is absolutely healthy and I should look into therapy and herbal remedies for my mental disorders.

I then saw my doctor a lot of times and turns out he’s a misogynist. I’ve never heard „but you’re a healthy young woman“ so much in my life. He prescribed me with Bisoprolol first but it made me really tired and zombie-like and now I’m stuck with Metoprolol. I switched my doctor and got taken seriously. My doctor looked into POTS and even medication but didn’t want to prescribe it because she doesn’t have experience with heart medication other than beta blockers, so she also sent me to a cardiologist and I very luckily got an appointment!!

The cardiologist actually took me seriously but he also decided to perform a standing test. But I was taking my betablocker, so the test result was ultimately very all over the place and it was mainly my blood pressure that was high (154/102). When I was laying down before the test, my heart rate wouldn’t drop below 100. Normally my resting heart rate will be in the mid 70s to mid 80s but sometimes I’m flaring and my heart rate won’t go down. Of course my appointment had to be exactly on a day like this. In the end my heart rate went from like 102 to 130 but it kept fluctuating throughout my whole time standing. Now he wants to look further than the echo and wants me to do a cardiac MRI (which is really good, don’t get me wrong), to make there really is nothing structurally wrong with my heart. And he also wants me to see a rheumatologist to check for autoimmune conditions (which is also amazing).

I’m just overall so fed up, I’m in so much pain because my migraines keep flaring with whatever I have (probably still POTS or some type of other dysautonomia) and I have to keep advocating for myself, even if I have no energy left. And I’m just so angry because I’ve tried the standing test several times at home and it was ALWAYS a clear positive (from 80 to 140 or more, sustained and even increasing) for POTS. I just don’t understand my body and why it chose to let me down in this crucial moment. I’m just feeling to bad. I can’t stand for long times, going food shopping and stairs became my personal hell. I’m afraid to shower. I can’t even cook a meal for myself without having to sit down. I just can’t live my normal live as I have such a wide array of symptoms and pain.