Revenge peeing and Balancing needs vs wants

Ok so this might be dog behavior 101 but I’m having a lot of trouble with my spitfire of a dog, Crumb who’ve I had since she was a puppy, she is nearly three years old now. (I got her from the shelter so “puppy” means four months in this context). She’s my world but she’s a nasty little thing. She’s around lots of dogs when she’s at my parents house and she’s a whopping 25 pounds of pure rage who bullies all the other dogs. This is a separate issue that I’m working on. Her resource guarding is unique to the other dogs I’ve personally worked with who guard resources and it’s realllllly hard not to project anthropomorphism on to her. She just seems mean in like a very human way. Also she’s a major runt. She’s healthy but she was expected to be 60-70 pounds. The shelter mistook her for a boxer…but her sister from the litter is 45 so not sure why Crumb is so small.

But anyway

Crumb lives with another dog her size, my pitty mix, Smidge who is a senior (smidge was adopted after her). They get along very well. Mostly neutral to each other but they occasionally play. My girlfriend and I are passionate dog lovers and we consistently foster senior pups for a local organization. Crumb usually ignores them and smidge is generally the worry because of initial leash reactivity when she meets strange dogs. But finally here’s the meat and potatoes: Crumb sleeps with us on the bed (boooooo! I understand this is not great for resource guarders, I’m working on convincing my girlfriend) and in the middle of the night she’ll either pee on the bed (in her sleep, we think) or get off the bed and pee on the floor. She NEVER pees in her kennel when she’s home alone while we’re both at work for full shifts. Is this a behavioral issue? She does act out when we foster a new dog for a few weeks. And we have had two new ones staying with us within the last month. My mom’s dog did this and the vet said it was because she was spayed too early and her muscles weren’t strong enough to hold it. He prescribed estrogen and it worked like a charm with that dog. I’m struggling with money right now and doggie HRT is not cheap. I almost prefer to be behavioral and not medical, even if the medical fix is faster. I don’t think it’s a uti because it’s been long term at this point and she doesn’t have accidents except at night. Not a vet tho!

Solution is pretty easy: Diapers and or Sleep in the kennel

But I’m just curious what you guys think? And how do I make her feel loved and meet her needs without creating more of an “entitlement problem”? Especially with the fosters coming in and out of her home

I hate projecting human emotions onto her but that’s the only word I can describe it with…my life is dogs and I love my senior fosters but she’s my priority at the same time. Balancing the attention she wants is difficult when she has a major scarcity mindset. It’s like nothing is ever enough. She wants all the focus and resources all the time. It’s not even healthy to give her all that, just furthers her “nastiness”.

I spend a lot of time just the two of us. We go on training walks and we just started the sport of Barn Hunt (which she LOVES). So it’s not like I’m neglecting our alone time…

I truly don’t know if the peeing at night is medical or behavioral, but I’d also be interested if anyone has advice on the balancing act of setting boundaries with a dog like this.

Thanks!