Genuinely don’t know anything in OL maths

I’ve never understood maths in secondary school, since the first day we ever started algebra that’s when it started, I was barely passing maths till 3rd year and after that it was all downhill, my mental health was shit, I was missing school, and of course that led to me missing tons of maths andI got not graded in maths for my jc, fast forward to 6th year now, yesterday started bawling in class to my maths teacher when I started explaining how I literally can’t understand the very basics , and I legitimately can’t answer a single question on any topic , I asked to sit right next to the teachers desk for help, we also have 2 maths teachers in the class. I’ve been studying calculus at home spending 20 minutes on one 5 mark question and I understand it, until the next day I forget all of it And what makes it worse is that I’m decent in every subject, I do everything HL except maths and at least a H5 or H4 in all my other subjects. I genuinely don’t know what to do it’s making me miserable, I want to get grinds but I’m broke and my parents wouldn’t pay for them.

There must be someone who has been in a similar situation. I’m dying here