Back at it and serious about it

I had been a part of this sub in the past with a different account, glad to be back.

When I was still dating my ex he convinced me to cut down on my alcohol use and eventually stop all together. That year and a half of not drinking was one of the best I had had. I got really in shape. Quit smoking cigarettes as well and focused on my health. I felt great.

Hoping to get back to that again, but things are a little different this time. My ex is gone, and my new partner is what I would consider to be an alcoholic. He's at least buzzed all day almost every day. He doesn't push me to drink with him, but it is quite easy to say screw it and go overboard when we are together - we talk each other into one more shot, going to the next bar or party, etc until it goes way too far.

Everyone else who is a part of my life also drinks heavily - my friends, my immediate family. I have a couple of friends who do not drink, but they work a lot and are usually busy so I don't spend too much time with them. Almost everyone else has alcohol around when I see them. I know what is ultimately my choice and mine alone to not drink and that I can't control what other people do but it is so tempting and sometimes I feel like I can't trust myself. Sometimes I say one drink will do and then I want another and another, it seems as if I never learn. I'm so fed up with myself.

I'm not sure why I'm making this post. Sometimes it just feels so suffocating being surrounded by people who are like that. I'm not sure what to do about it but I know that the best I can do is take it one day at a time and come up with some strategies to say no and avoid alcohol. I suppose I'm just venting.

Day 2 of hopefully forever. Iwndwyt.