realizing my social deficits are more obvious than i thought

i generally think that i’m pretty self aware, i know where i struggle and how people view me most of the time. but i just had too back to back experiences that say that i’m missing more than i thought. two situations where, in my mind, i was responding appropriately to what others asked of me. but my mom let me know afterwards i was ignoring a lot of what was being said and choosing not to answer statements or questions when i didn’t have an answer / didn’t want to answer.

in my mind i was doing everything right, but from the perspective of the other people in these interactions, i was ignoring a good chunk of what they said. i guess i thought i was better at hiding my social struggles. i can’t really “mask” in the sense that i can’t easily blend in and convince others i’m neurotypical, but i can compensate some in other ways. i know that i probably come across as having some sort of disability to most people i interact with, but i thought in brief interactions like in these two situations, i was hiding it pretty well.