I left Islam abt a year ago. I’d had doubts long before that, but I kept finding excuses for them until eventually there was nothing left to justify my belief, so I left.

I was an extremely religious person. someone who relied on allah for everything, every failure felt like a punishment for not being close enough n every success felt like a reward from god, especially when it came to studyin

Now m in my final year , which will determine my future n even though I’m pretty convinced Islam CAN NOT be the right religion , I can’t shake the intrusive fear of " what if i don't make it? what if god punishes me ? what if i fail no matter how hard i try?

n I know logically this is ridiculous. I know my belief (or lack of it) doesn’t control my grades. But i can't get it off my mind it’s exhausting , I’ve even thought about going back just to get some peace of mind , to somehow convince myself again, Like my mind keeps saying: “Who am I to judge God? My brain is too small to understand”

I know this isn’t true,and it's just a fear that has been implanted in me over years , but logic won't simply erase it , so how can i manage it ? can anyone relate? has anyone been through a similar experience?