[The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon] - Book 4 - Chapter 29

“Watch out!” Windfold shouted, spinning his sickle chain to deflect the mix of swords and vomit that sprayed out.

Avid’s plan to use heroic weapons to incapacitate the demonic dragon had worked surprisingly well. Griffin riders and heroes had combined to fill the creature’s stomach with hundreds of swords that had the effect of burning coals. Sadly, there was one minor thing that everyone had overlooked—when a living creature’s stomach was upset, the body’s response was to expel the irritants through one of two ways. In this case, since the dragon had multiple heads, the options were even more.

Glowing swords covered in slimy purple ooze hit the ground, causing even the corrupted soil to crack under the effects of the sizzling substance. Dragon stomach acids weren’t something most heroes had to worry about while fighting monsters, even dragons; yet, they had never faced a situation such as this.

The only partially good news was that the fountains of destruction indiscriminately killed off anything around them, including other demons.

“We must put the swords back in!” Avid flew by the wyvern hero. “We can’t let it recover.”

Windfold looked at Avid, then at the purple swamp that had formed below. Most of the weapons were still glowing as brightly as before. Yet, he wasn’t thrilled by the prospect of having to pick them up. Corrosive issues aside, the thought of having to reach through vomit wasn’t in the least appealing.

“I never should have gone along with this,” the hero said with a sigh. He didn’t believe it, of course. Out of everything attempted so far, this was the only approach that had yielded any results. “What the heck? At least I get to shut up my old man after this.”

Griffin riders swooped down, flying feet away from the ground. As they did, the heroes riding on the back reached out, grabbing as many weapons as they could. Skills were used to form bubbles of safety, pushing the corrosive substances away from their target.

Casually observing, Avid saw just how far he was from becoming a hero. Even with first-class gear and some magical items, he would have found it almost impossible to snatch a weapon from a pool of acid. His hero companion, on the other hand, did it without thought or hesitation.

“You alright, kid?” the hero asked, noticing Avid’s qualms. “It’s a good plan. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not that.” Avid looked forward. “It’s…” he paused. “Let’s just buy them a bit more time.”

“You think highly of your mentor, don’t you?” the hero snatched another sword, then tossed it to his left hand. “There was a lot of talk about him. To be honest, I didn’t think much. Every now and again there’s some mage or adventurer who gets a few things done. To go against a Demon Lord, though…” He scooped down another massive sword. “That’s hero material right there.”

“Yeah.” Avid smiled. “Hero material…”

Driving his griffin up, the adventurer headed back towards the demonic dragon. No longer a fountain of destruction, they hadn’t fully recovered. Right now, it was in a vulnerable state, if a demonic dragon could ever be vulnerable.

“I’ll aim for the one on the lower left,” Avid said. “Can you hit it?”

The hero glanced at head in question.

“As long as it keeps its mouth open, no issue,” he replied. “Just don’t get too close. It might not be done puking.”

A smile cracked on Avid’s face. It was likely the stress talking, but he found the joke rather funny.

In the surrounding battlefield, things had reached a tentative stalemate. All remaining heroes on the ground had gathered in two major groups, using demon bodies and everything else they could find in an attempt to build a semblance of walls. The monsters, on their part, although massively more numerous, knew better than to blindly charge. Experiencing the massive destruction brought on by the heroes and feeling the Demon Lord near, they had taken a more pragmatic approach to wait their enemies out.

“Turn!” the hero behind Avid shouted.

One after the other, three large swords sliced the air, flying straight at the demonic dragon’s head. Two of them made their way into the creature’s throat while the mouth was half open. The third struck a massive tooth, chipping it in the process.

The dragon roared, sending out a wave of black flames in the griffin’s direction.

Sensing it, Avid led his griffin swooping down, safely evading certain death.

“That was rather close,” he said, his heart beating like a drum. The level of adrenaline in his veins had tripled in the last second alone. Thankfully, that hadn’t clouded his judgement. Even if he felt somewhat invincible, he was wise enough to know he wasn’t invincible enough to take the dragon head on. “Let’s go for another round.”

“You’re the rider,” the hero said from behind. “Better hurry up before the rest get the good bits.”

At the same time, another aerial battle was also taking place in the skies of Rosewind. The high-pitched noise of flying fireworks drowned any other sounds in the surrounding area, culminating in a massive explosion that entirely collapsed the second tallest tower of the duke’s castle.

“Sorry about that!” Switches said through the airship’s loudspeakers. “I’ll fix that later.”

Everyone on the bridge stared at him. It was bad enough destroying a large part of the castle with Duke Rosewind inside. Knowing Spok’s views on the matter made everyone feel relieved they weren’t the gnome right now.

“What?!” Switches glared back. “It takes a few times to get used to a new airship,” he explained. “Assistant! Get another firework ready.”

The airship turned to the right, trying to keep track of the fighting giants below. For a while it seemed that Theo’s colossus had gained the upper hand, yet the demonic rabbit refused to stay down. No matter the amount and severity of the damage inflicted, it would remain on its feet, counterattacking in various ways. The last approach was to transform its “fur” into a multitude of pointy spikes, like a porcupine, in an attempt to inflict as much damage as it was receiving.

“Fireworks ready,” the alchemist’s voice came from the airship’s internal communication. “Do I fire?”

“Fire!” Switches squeaked.

Another large rocket emerged from the fireship, accompanied by a high-pitched sound. Unlike the previous one, it wasn’t aimed at the castle. For that matter, it wasn’t aimed at the rabbit, either, but flew in the completely opposite direction, making its way straight towards the ring of buildings near the city wall.

Before the local observers could give in to panic, the buildings moved away from the rocket’s path. Even the city wall arched up, forming a perfect hole for the projectile to fly through. Leaving a trail of sparkles behind it, the rocket continued on until eventually hitting the ground a few miles away in the most picturesque explosion one could imagine.

In the airship hangar, several adventurers turned towards the alchemist.

“It was meant for the wedding,” the man said apologetically, avoiding the actual question.

“Apprentice!” the gnome’s voice filled the entire hangar. “The other direction!

“Sorry! Sorry!” The alchemist gestured to the adventurers to load another rocket, this time turning it a hundred and eighty degrees as they placed it. “Just wanted to test the impact zone.”

“Hmm…” Switches’ squint could be felt all the way from the bridge. “No more tests! Just hit the rabbit!”

The order was clear, with no room for misinterpretation. That didn’t mean that the alchemist didn’t spend a few seconds trying to find ways around it. Unfortunately for him, there were none. Either he managed to hit the demon, or he’d lose his job… and potentially the city as well.

“What happens after that?” Agonia asked on the bridge. She wasn’t particularly thrilled to be part of the distraction group, as Spok had named it. Being here kept her away from her gardens. Then again, if an end wasn’t put to the rabbit rampage, there would be no gardens to talk of.

Her question caused a few seconds of palpable silence, after which everyone present turned in the gnome’s direction. Up to now, they had been so caught up in the moment that no one had bothered to ask for details concerning their attack plan. The outline was clear: they took the new airship and join in the fight on the baron’s side. Yet, no one knew what that entailed exactly. So far, they had been attempting to hit the demon with a powerful array of destructive rockets. Everyone took it for granted that they would be destructive enough to have an effect; after all, the goblin attack of a few years ago had leveled the city. Unlike that particular instance, though, the number of troops currently at their disposal was far less than the goblin armies that had swarmed Rosewind.

“Simple,” Switches said with a confident smirk. “The fireworks just need to create a hole in the rabbit’s body. After that, you’ll go in and attack him from the inside.”

Everyone looked at Agonia. With a few exceptions, all that everyone knew about her was that she was some kind of magical gardener that worked directly under Spok. She wasn’t particularly communicative, didn’t have any obvious hobbies or bad habits, just a mildly concerning obsession with collecting roses, as well as harming anyone who dared pick one from the city’s parks and gardens.

“From the inside,” the abomination repeated.

“Yep. Yep.” Switches nodded.

“I suppose you’re not completely stupid, after all.”

A mental sigh of relief filled the space.

“How do I get close?”

“Two ways.” The gnome raised his right hand. “We can strap you to one of the rockets and—”

“What’s the other way?” the gardener interrupted. While the experience wasn’t going to harm her in any way, she found it highly undignified and uncomfortable.

“Oh…” Switches’ ears flopped. Secretly, the gnome was looking forward to that method. “You can join the gliding team.”

“Gliding team?” a muscular man asked. “What’s that?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” The gnome looked back, mildly confused about why anyone would even ask for a clarification. “Everyone else will strap on some modified goblin gliders and fly off to help distract the bunny. How else did you think you’d do it?”

Everyone looked at each other.

“You didn’t think I’d send you charging at a hundred foot monster?” the gnome laughed. “That would be stupid.”

A few sporadic laughs followed, but no one was particularly amused by the prospect.

“Hey, you’ve nothing to worry about. It’s a modified goblin glider. Perfectly safe! I tested it myself in my spare time. The monster core still needs a bit of work, so try not to fly for over an hour, but apart from that there’s nothing to it.”

“Err…” a boy raised his hand. “How do you fly it exactly?”

“Huh? It practically flies itself.” Switches stared at him. “Just move your shoulders in the direction you want to go and that’s it.” The gnome narrowed his eyes. “I thought you were a prodigy. Don’t you remember anything from the Mandrake war?”

“I do, sir, but back then it was the baron that—”

“Good! Any other questions?”

It was a well-known fact that the true meaning of that question was to mildly indicate that no further answers would be given. In this case, there was no need. The number of questions in everyone’s mind had cascaded to avalanche levels, blocking each other from being openly uttered. Everyone except Agonia shook their heads. There were enough questions they had towards themselves to risk any more. The main one was: why did I sign up for this?

The effort was equally unappreciated by the dungeon itself. Theo had a good idea what Switches was up to—it was impossible not to—but had largely ignored it due to more important matters on several fronts. Fighting the Demon Lord was technically underway, though due to the time dilation, the actual encounter could be said to have been postponed. Although it was a matter of time before that spell, too, came to an end. Meanwhile, the bunny had proved to be a far more difficult opponent than he had imagined. Killing it, if Max were to be believed, should have been an easy task… provided the Demon Lord hadn’t entered the world. Now that he had, Theo was cursed to fight an indestructible plushie.

“Ninth!” the colossus shouted as he thrust his sword through the demonic entity and twirled it around.

The rabbit’s stomach moved about like cake batter being stirred, but nothing else of significance happened. There was a good chance that any organs inside moved abut as well, keeping them from being affected.

“Heroic strike!” the dungeon shouted, performing the action.

The power was enough to evaporate the colossus’ sword and both hands, along with three-quarters of the rabbit’s stomach. A torrent of light continued on towards the edge of the city. Once again, buildings shuffled out of its way. The city wall, unfortunately, wasn’t as lucky. Affected by the strike, the entire section crumbled like a pile of broken clay pots.

Stupid gnome! Theo thought. A moment later he looked at the hands of the colossus.

That was the problem with heroic skills—they caused a lot of damage even when using his main body. The only consolation was that the bunny had it several times worse. Best of all, the attack had prevented the creature from letting out its usual shrieking sound.

A brief regeneration contest ensued. Theo spent a significant amount of his energy reserves to create a new set of buildings to reform the colossus’ fists. At the same time, tendrils were shooting from all sides of the created hold, filling up the missing flesh. A small victory that didn’t go unnoticed was that the effort had caused the rabbit to shrink slightly.

“Ninth,” Theo repeated. “Some additional assistance would be nice, if it wouldn’t bother you too much.” The second sentence was dredged in sarcasm, yet the visiting dungeon didn’t make an appearance.

“I cannot assist you at this point,” Ninth’s voice replied. “For the moment, this is your battle.”

“What? But you just helped me to—”

“That was one instance of indirect assistance,” the visitor replied. “A fact that I’ll stick by in front of the council. It also came with a warning relating to what might happen should you consume a mana gem.”

Why, you good for nothing…

Theo used his avatar to take a deep breath. This was ridiculous! Just when he thought that the bureaucratic dungeon had shifted to his side, Ninth had to pull this. Any sane entity would see that if the demons weren’t defeated, everyone else would pay the price. Or maybe that was the reason? Looking at things objectively, there was still no guarantee which side would win. Ninth and the dungeon council had no way of telling what was occurring in the Demon Lord’s castle. For all they knew, the heroes could be a moment away from victory. Backing either side was still risky. No doubt Ninth had done the minimum possible to point out that he was on Theo’s side, should it turn out victorious, though not enough should the Demon Lord end up on top.

“Fine!” A new building emerged on either side of the colossus. As they rose up, they took on the form of short swords, which were quickly grabbed by the statue’s newly created hands.

The demonic rabbit’s recovery was slightly slower, causing it to suffer two more blunt hits and get pushed back a few hundred feet.

Just as that happened, another whistling sound followed. Theo didn’t need to focus on the skies to know that Switches had launched another of his pyromaniacal rockets. Surprisingly, this time it hit its target, exploding in the back of the bunny.

A hole—significantly smaller than the one Theo had created moments ago—emerged. Normally, such a wound would have been restored in a matter of seconds, yet the demon had reached its limit. Then, a swarm of gliders spilled out of the airship.

“Spok, what the hell is that?!” the dungeon asked, as four dozen mechanical devices flew towards the demon.

“Those would be your reinforcements, sir,” the spirit guide replied.

“Sending flies to fight a frog?!” The city shook violently.

When it came to absurd plans, Theo had gotten used to the gnome’s complete aversion to reality. Even so, he had hoped that the effort would have some theoretical merit. All that Switches was doing with his action was providing magic energy to the demon.

Like drunken mosquitoes, the gliders zig-zagged in the general direction of the rabbit. Projectiles of various sizes and natures flew at the creature, as they made use of whatever weapons the gnome had provided them. Each was something that Theo had seen before. The gnome would constantly pester him with blueprints and prototypes in his attempts to “build up” the automatons that acted as city guards. In all honesty, the dungeon didn’t particularly care what the constructs were like, but Spok had been adamant that this remained a “nice picturesque city.” Also, there was the political prospect. Creating an overpowering army was bound to pose questions, and there were several dukes that wanted Rosewind razed to the ground, as Spok’s wedding had shown.

“Switches!” Theo’s voice boomed throughout the entire city. “Get your gliders out of the way before—”

A cluster of tendrils shot out from the rabbit’s back, targeting the closest glider. Mercilessly enveloping the contraption and the person using it, it then pulled in the catch like a chameleon capturing an insect.

Two more rockets flew out of the airship, hitting the bunny’s ears, halving them in size.

“Damn it!” The colossus charged forward as Theo covered both weapons in a layer of blessings.

Combining the attack with swiftness spells, a series of thirty-two hits was made before the bunny could react. Unfortunately, even that proved no longer sufficient. Learning from past experiences, the demon had replaced its fur spikes with massive dragon scales, effectively overing itself in an impenetrable layer of armor.

Theo focused his attention on a single point, pressing on with his attack.

A handful of scales shattered, yet no sooner had they crumbled a new set emerged beneath.

“Spok, Max, what type of demon is this?!” the dungeon asked within its halls. “What’s the weak spot?”

“I am unfamiliar, sir,” the spirit guide admitted. “It could be an archdemon. Those are very adaptable.”

“It isn’t,” the ghost of Lord Maximilian replied. “Arch demons don’t adapt that fast. The minion is still linked to you, so it’s using your imagination to come up with adequate defenses on the spot.”

“How can it be linked?” Theo slammed both weapons onto the rabbit’s head. The pure kinetic force of the attack sent the creature’s head into its body, then pushed the whole thing further down.

Trying to take advantage of the momentum, the dungeon opened up a pit beneath the creature’s feet. Sadly, there was no effect. The demon had experienced that trick before, so it knew exactly how to react: tendrils shot out from its feet, creating a web that attached itself to the pit’s edges. There was some wobbling, caused by the remaining force of the attack, yet the monster refused to be pushed into the ground.

Keeping his concentration, Theo also adjusted his plans, causing hundreds of towers to grow out of the sides and bottom of the pit and simultaneously pierce the rabbit.

“I checked five times!” the dungeon went on. “It hasn’t been a part of me since the gravedigger’s core.”

“Not now, idiotic dungeon!” Max shouted back. “The thing was part of you for as long as I was! It witnessed how you fight, how you react, how you think. Since it’s a simple-minded minion, it didn’t make use of this information, but it still has it.”

On cue, hundreds of mouths appeared on the demon’s body, devouring any tower that had gone through it.

“The creature has only two purposes,” the ghost said. “To send energy to the Demon Lord and survive. Now that you’ve threatened both, you forced it to adapt.”

“Just great!”

That was why it had been so focused on destroying Ninth. The rank nine dungeon had the means and abilities to find and destroy it before the Demon Lord had returned to the world. If the visitor had done his job a bit better, this whole mess could possibly have been avoided.

More rockets followed, though even they exploded on the surface, falling to pierce the tough scales. Thankfully, the gnome had come to the conclusion that the dungeon had, for he called out his glider squadrons back to the airship.

Black tendrils shot out of the bunny to capture more prey.

No, you don’t! The colossus spun around, slashing through them with a double chopping strike.

Lacking the protective scales, the tendrils snapped like twigs, instantly evaporating into puffs of black smoke. Unfortunately, just as the action had saved a few people, it had also left the colossus open to attacks.

The bunny didn’t hesitate. The scales on its body turned into spokes that shot out in the same fashion the powers had, drilling through the colossus’ body. That wasn’t all. Thousands of miniature mouths appeared on the spikes, devouring even more of Theo’s main body.

“That nasty little…” the dungeon grumbled through its halls and chambers.

Max had been correct. Fighting the demonic bunny felt like fighting a slightly more stupid version of himself. While the creature didn’t have his skills or abilities, it had its own powers, among which was the ability to freely shapeshift. It was impossible to know how much energy that effort required, but as long as the Demon Lord remained, the changes weren’t a burden.

“I told you to forget it and focus on the Demon Lord,” Max grumbled within Theo’s mind.

“What do you think I’m doing?!” Theo shouted back. “It’s not like I’m—”

The sentence was never finished, for a torrent of orange fire shot down from the sky onto the demonic creature. This wasn’t just any flame. Theo could feel the strength and intensity forcing him to instantly cast off the entire colossus and the top fifty feet of ground. Creating an entity of such size would all but deplete his remaining core points and energy reserves, yet that was preferable to bearing the inflicted damage.

All observatories on the edge of the city focused on the sky, pinpointing the source of the flame. Much to Theo’s horror, there was a massive dragon there.

“Ninth,” a new voice boomed, louder than the incessant screeching of the flaming demonic bunny. “Is that the parasite?”

“Yes, First,” the silhouette of the visiting dungeon appeared calmly, standing fifty feet from Duke Rosewind’s castle. “And everything else is the candidate. Everything except for the castle.”

Flapping its wings, the dragon descended heavily onto the ground, undisturbed by the flames and scorched demonic remains beneath.

“You’re free to go,” the dragon said. “I’ll take matters from here.”

“I’d like to stay,” Ninth said. “A battle of this nature must be observed and recorded.”

The dragon snarled. In size, it was almost as large as the demonic dragon, bright red as if it were made of molten iron. Even now, Theo could feel the heat emanating from each scale. He also was fully aware of how much the universe hated him. A Demon Lord, an indestructible shapeshifting bunny, and now a dragon sent by the council of dungeons… not to mention that Liandra was also aware of his nature.

“Spok,” Theo said in a somber tone. “You have more mana gems, don’t you?”

“Just one, sir.” The spirit guide took it out. “Cecil arranged the others to be sent after the heroic quest was over.”

“A politician till the end.” The dungeon sighed. “Have it ready,” he said as a new colossus began to rise up from the ground, near Peris’ temple. “I’ll need it in a bit.”

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