A letter to my ex

Hey M,

I don’t know where you are now, and I’m not supposed to reach out — I’m respecting that. But there’s a lot I never got to say, and I need to let it live somewhere instead of inside me.

I still think about you sometimes. Not in a way that tries to pull you back into my life, but in the way you think about someone who mattered, someone who left a mark. Despite how things ended, I care about you. I hope you’re safe, I hope life is gentler with you than it used to be, and I hope you’ve found people who see the good in you.

The truth is: your sudden turn hurt. It confused me and left me carrying a lot of loose ends. I wish we could have talked instead of crashing into that disconnect. I never wanted to make you feel replaced or insecure. I never wanted to be a source of fear or pain for you.

If my closeness with D made you feel threatened or unwanted, I’m sorry. That was never my intention. I wasn’t choosing someone over you — I was following my feelings and trying to be honest, and I didn’t realize how sharp that shift felt from your side. I wish I had understood sooner. I wish we could have had a real conversation about it instead of everything breaking so suddenly.

At the same time, I know I didn’t do anything wrong by caring about someone else, and I know it wasn’t my job to carry all of your fears. But I can still be sorry that it hurt you. I can still wish the ending had been kinder to both of us.

You meant something to me. You were a real chapter in my life, not a footnote. And even if we’ll never talk again, I still hope you’re okay. You’ve been through a lot, and I genuinely wish your future is softer than your past.

I’m letting go of the guilt. I’m letting go of the “what ifs.” I’m letting go of trying to fix something that can’t be rewound.

But I’m keeping the truth that I cared — because that part was real, and it doesn’t need to be erased to heal.

Goodbye. Be well. Be safe.

— K