i’m nervous about death

i’m planning to die soon, i have five days including today left to live and even though logically it’s the best option for me, i can’t help but be scared. i know it’s better for me, because i can’t see myself having any sort of future. everyone i leave behind will be ok eventually too, because honestly knowing me was a huge burden in itself. i’m needy and need attention or else i feel hated. i don’t want anyone to suffer anymore, and i don’t want to suffer myself. i know it’s the best choice, but now that my last days are closing in i feel so nervous. it feels almost abrupt to just die right now. i don’t know what to think. i’m excited but i can’t help but feel scared because i don’t know what coming next and i just want to accept it already. i want to be gone.