Does, "if she wanted to, she would" work for women or should I be the backup?

I'd like to preface this post by saying that I wish the best to this person and I have no ill feelings in general but it's been something that I've processing for the past week.

The goal of this post is to learn whether I should be open to talking again to someone or whether I need to seriously assess how I look at commitment and not really a back and forth. If you feel like I did something wrong or I'd rather be roasted, feel free to since it seems like that one of the ways I can learn to do better.

I'm a South Asian male, mid 20s in a western country. I've lived alone with over 8 years and have forged my own path this whole time. I recently got into the marriage search and I've have been active on reddit for a while. The girl I connected with is from another country, also mid-20s and from same continent.

I ultimately commit myself to one person within a few calls if I they align with me on deen, personality, looks and more and eventually mentally end my search there. I don't see the reason to poison my head with "there's more options out there" and ultimately thats also the reason why I'm hesitant to be on the apps.

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Throughout this time, there's been this girl that complemented me for my wisdom over a year ago. She complemented me several times throughout the last year until last month. In fact she said that she specifically looks for my comments for my wisdom and that I've helped her out of her depression/issues by looking at it from a different angle.

I remember I initially reached out to her last year when she posted her ISO and she doesnt remember this but she said that she's looking for someone in her city (she's also a citizen of my country). Despite that, she consistently complemented my "wisdom" and said that she actually looks for my comments. I appreciate it and kept my distance.

Fast forward to the second last inpairs drop, we randomly got matched on inpairs. She recognized me and I recognized her just from the profile text.

I considered that destiny matched us and maybe I put too much hope in that and thats on me. She reached out to me via DM asking me if that was me and I said yes. We accepted, and we got on call and we get on fairly well.

I told her everything, she calls me mature and her most serious/halal potential so far and what not and she said I helped her get out of depression and overthinking with my comments but overall I got the feeling that she's detached by extremely frank with everyone.

Ultimately 3 days after I connect with her and talking with her and asking her serious questions, she asks me if I'd talk to her brother, I did and things went well.

We spoke a few more times getting our questions across and then when we ran out of them, we said let's do istekhara and that she should speak to her parents and elders and see what they say and I'll meet her IRL in her city and I wouldn't mind visiting her city since this isn't for her but it's something I'm advocating for myself.

I honestly found myself extremely hesistant to let out the full spectrum of my behavior, jokes and more and maybe my personality was too hesitant since I didn't have solid pillars to stand on while she was extremely frank with me and I like to keep things on track and halal AMAP. I was snarky not brainrotted like her even I realize I do that but I just never considered doing it with her.

We randomly chatted a few days later, she asked someone her questions and some of them were about kids/future/and more. I liked how many questions she had even though we thought we were done.

After pushing it off for 3 days, she eventually gets on a call with me this Monday and jokes with me for 20 mins and then I asked her what her parents said and she said "you know it sucks that you're my first potential. they brought up a ton of issues with you and Its a shame because they dont realize how hard the search is."

I regretted joking with her and probably even crossing my own rules of being frank with the opposite gender and asked her just to be sure "are you saying there's no productive way forward" just so that I wasn't assuming anything.

I legit cant remember what she responded with but it sounded like a no and I began checking out and told her I cant communicate from here and all the best with your search. I ultimately removed her from my social media accounts and phone as I usually do (out sight out of mind).

She asked me whether she can reach out to me in the future and at the time, I said "if Allah SWT wills, sure".

But I've contemplating on off. Ive been detached other times I've been stumped for hours for the past week. Part of me feels like I showed my best and yet she couldn't see the potential in me why be a backup in the future. Other times Im thinking about whether I commit too soon to people and other times I come to the conclusion maybe I wasn't her physical/emotional type and despite showing off my best qualities within reason she didn't consider me to be her best option so why keep it open.

Overall, Im fairly content. I asked Allah SWT to make things easier if this is meant to be and make things harder if this isn't meant to be and Allah SWT has answered. I have no right to disrespect him.