When I was 13, she hugged every guy except me

When I was 13, she hugged every guy except me Right now I'm in a very transformative time. For most of m my life I've been an awkward autistic incel though I'm not a virgin- I've had experiences at 19, 23, and 27.

I'm approaching 7 weeks into semen retention, and I am slowly- though faster by the week- becoming a different person. I was severely kindled and drinking myself to death, now completely sober. My autism is gone. I see everything, take over rooms with ease, and now have genuine, natural and instinctive confidence.

I can tell the old, loser me is fading away and by new years will be gone forever. So I'm exploring him from this new mind while he is still accessible. It's fascinating and rather enjoyable. Watching autists in public is incredible now. Like watching a ghost. I rather enjoy looking back and the days I was bullied. I love the idea of seducing girls who bullied me in high school and then ghosting them forever. Or going back in time and bullying my old self. God what a rush. My ultimate non sexual fantasy, I feel WIRED, like the Terminator, I feel like I could run ops with delta force, hitting 100 buildings a night, popping a flash bang and kicking the door and lighting up a room full of spetznaz.

When I was 13 I went to a "elite" boarding school because I was trying to make the "elite" high school in my area. It was all boys, and on weekends we used to do outings. One weekend we went to this skating rink/arcade place, and there was a group of girls out age. This one girl in particular was clearly the "hot girl" of the group. I distinctly remember she was giving hugs to every guy except me. There was even a moment where it was just us, and the moment hung there, and she turned away. It was probably no more than a second, but it's one of the most memorable seconds of my life.