Why Does it Hurt so Much?

24M bisexual here. Grade school girls would make fun of me for asking them out, joke and dare each other to share my company, and some flat out wanted free money and saw keeping me company as some sort of pity or bargain.

I'm just done. I feel so much pain in my chest thinking about relationships and dating females. I have a ENM boyfriend who is gay and i wish I could be too.

I don't want to give up on my dreams and desires, but I can't afford children and in this political climate I don't know I should father new life.