When people tell you who they are, believe them

My ex one day read me something he had written in his journal that made me freeze up a bit. He claimed it was an old journal entry which means his behaviors had been an ongoing pattern. I’m not sure what prompted him to read this to me, but he did. It was something along the lines of “I am a bad person. I am a narcissist. I take advantage of people’s kindness. I use people.” And I just sat there in silence because up to this point the wheels were turning in my head because of some of the love bombing and gaslighting and me giving and giving and giving and him always claiming I wasn’t doing enough while I was the one doing a lot. And he did the bare minimum. I think he projected on to me constantly. To keep me thinking I was always 100% the problem. I’m afraid to say specifics in the off hand chance he reads this, but I look back and kind of wonder… was he intentionally or unintentionally telling me exactly who he was? Or was he hoping I’d sit there and tell him it wasn’t true? I don’t even remember what I said because I kind of froze. I knew how I was being treated and hearing him read that made me feel uneasy and unsure of what I was supposed to do. Anyway just a memory that came back after I saw people posting things online about how they are a “loose cannon” and I was kind of like… if they are telling you that then take it for what it is no more putting blinders on and only focusing on the good parts because that is what I ALWAYS do. To my detriment I ignore red flags. And it just made me think of what happened before.

I ask kindly that if you read this you understand that this post was intentionally made very vague for the most part and there is a LOT to this story I didn’t share. Yes, we all have issues. I have my own issues and I’m working on them which is why I will most likely not date again for a while.

Please be respectful if you comment. 🩵 Im just processing. Not really anything more than that.

I’m afraid I’m going to get attacked for this one lol