Rant/Vent About my Shitty Father.

I moved out of my mom’s house when I was around 13 due to the horrible environment. When I initially moved out, I expected my dad’s house to be a warmer and more loving environment — but it isn’t. They are both bad people and I’m not sure if either parent is above the other in terms of kindness and being a good parent.

My father calls me names and makes fun of me all the time. 2 days ago, I expressed a concern as gently as I could to my dad and he kept telling me “no, you don’t understand anything about xyz” I kept stressing that it’s completely wrong and that I wish he would stop doing said thing. Towards the end out of nowhere — even though I was trying to be soft and gentle — he tells me to shut up and gets angry with me telling me how I just won’t shut up. I tell him I didn’t do anything to him and that I was being as polite as I could to which he keeps going on about basically how annoying I am, how I won’t shut up, etc. To which I yell that he “needed to learn to fucking stop.” At the end of this, he tells me to go to my room and I do. My sister doesn’t ever defend me, she always sides with my father and in some way they are the same. I can’t understand if it’s fear of getting kicked out or something else but, basically, I get treated like shit and punished for it by everyone in this household.

My father has never apologized to me once for his behavior. I once had a kidney infection and he threatened to send me away to a hospital because he claimed I had anorexia (I have never had issues with this.) As of now, I am 18. No job, no license, very little freedom. My dad has my location 24/7 and when I hangout with my friends he checks my location and even once said “I was around there… I should have come to visit.” I hide the fact that I am dating my ex because he makes inappropriate remarks regarding sex or has called my boyfriend big/fat. At one point he even insisted I was eating too much and that I needed to go on the treadmill.

A while ago, I tried to get my license and he would be in the car with me. He would either make fun of my driving or get angry when I made a mistake to the point where I have a phobia of driving. Now, he doesn’t take me driving anymore. When I was visibly upset at him cussing me out over my driving, he in turn acted confused and got angry.

He constantly dismisses my feelings and treats me like I’m the crazy and horrible person. One time I told him that because he rushed me out the door to go to class, I forgot my computer. He responded to this by getting angry and eventually slapping me. He texted the woman that he likes that he did that to me and she responded with “maybe she will learn.”

He is a MAGA Trump supporter performative christian and I genuinely think he is narcissistic because he surrounds himself with people that tell him he is right and act with awe at all the stuff he tells them. I am so frustrated, I feel trapped. I have no way to support myself if I get out of here. He tells me I am his “favorite daughter” when I confront him because he buys me stuff. But he always makes things for my oldest sister, always talks to her, brags about her masters degree to everyone.