“God’s perfect timing” left me isolated, broken, medicated, and traumatized

After years of infertility, my husband and I were surprised to find out we conceived naturally. The most common response I’ve received from the few people we’ve shared the news with is “God’s timing is always perfect.” I heard this multiple times at thanksgiving celebrations yesterday and I realized why it has left me very angry. (P.s. I’m not angry at the people, but rather the theory of the statement.)

Telling someone who finally got their “prayers answered” that God’s timing is perfect is completely ignoring the pain and suffering that that timing caused. I think it’s a cop out people use to gloss over the confusion of why God didn’t do the good thing he should have done earlier.

I hate how people give God the easy out, when “His perfect timing” of holding out on giving us a baby made me lose all my community, need medication for depression and anxiety, go through years of mentally and physically traumatic procedures, and completely lose my faith in Christianity.

How could this “God”’s timing be so perfect if I was left so utterly broken that my brain still can’t process the joy that I am actually pregnant now?

I hate that people praise a god and give him all the credit for doing something “miraculous” when in reality it destroyed my life. And just bc I’m pregnant now doesn’t mean everything infertility caused is suddenly gone or fixed.

I think the idea of God’s timing being perfect is a delusional excuse for people who are confused by their “loving god” not doing what even a fallen human would do when they see the need.

And telling someone “God knows what is best for you” is another cop out. I can wholeheartedly say that going through infertility was not best for me. Did I make the best of it that I could and grow more resilience bc I had to? Yes, but that was my effort and choice - not God’s love.

So before you tell someone “gods timing is perfect” or “god knows what is best for you”… please just don’t. It doesn’t bring comfort and it invalidates the pain and struggle people survived.

Open to hearing any other thoughts on why these phrases may be so aggravating to me!