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I keep writing what I need and want like it’s a question. It’s not. I know what I need and want.

Being away from my ex for the last 3 months has been so good for me. I’ve grown into myself and healed a lot. Being with her was not in my best interests in any capacity. I wasted over a decade of my life on her, waiting to be loved. Trying to build connection, home stability that she undermined and sabotaged every step of the way. She didn’t want a honeymoon, no kids, no buying a place together, constantly lied about who she was with…the writing was on the wall. I chose not to see it. She didn’t want a home and family the way I do.

I don’t want a thousand kids or a mansion. I wanted a safe and loving home.

I don’t want to repeat that mistake of picking someone who doesn’t want what I want and can’t give me the emotional intimacy and connection I need.

Maybe 2 women aren’t meant to be together. I hate to say it but my lived experience is no.

I think it’s time to let go of that fantasy ever being real and move on with life. It held me back from growing as a person and maturing for a decade.

I’m not the same person anymore. I won’t go back to teenage dynamics and childish fantasies.

Is romance dead? Maybe it is.

Stability and Trust are the new love language.