Seriously thinking about it....

I've been seriously depressed lately as its come to my attention that my life doesn't matter even to the person who mattered to me the most my "fav person"and they knew that don't even give half a shit. My family seems to like to add on by just being a-holes all the time.

In light of this I've just lost all confidence,self esteem,motivation,determination in life. If the people I love the most dont matter does anything really matter. I just dont have the strength to keep forming useless connections only to be lied to and treated like shit.

Honestly been planning to save up for a small gun from academy and blowing my head off. I know pathetic right?