High needs/fussy baby help

Hi Reddit parents. I’m at my breaking point and need advice. My almost 11-month-old has been extremely high-needs since birth—colic/reflux, sleep issues, gross motor delays due to the reflux, couldn’t be put down for months, constantly fussy etc. etc. I was THE baby whisperer before I had her. I was THRILLED to be pregnant. I’ve worked with kids for years and have never met a baby like her. She is beyond sensitive, high needs and simply pissed off. Constantly whining or crying. Her reflux is better, she doesn’t have food allergies (possibly environmental), she doesn’t seem like she’s in pain (her teething or “bonked my head” cry is different)… At this point I’m guessing it’s just temperament, which is horrible because that never truly changes.

Every day feels unpredictable. I’m always on edge because I don’t know what will set her off, and I rarely know why she’s crying or how to help. All of my other friends who have children this age are doing well and have no idea how to relate to I’m going through. I envy them to the point of pain. I’m so overstimulated that I’m starting to shut down emotionally or snap in frustration when she gets fussy. Which is probably 70% of the day.

I’m in therapy and have a great husband, but I’m miserable and grieving the first year I thought I’d have. If you’ve had a baby like this—did it ever get better? And WHEN? I need some hope or a light at the end of this very long, dark, miserable tunnel.