Entering hospice makes me think i havent done enough

to put it shortly, doctors have given up. the cancer is too aggressive, and her (mom, 63) body is not a cadidate for chemo. shes too weak.

a few days ago she entered hospice and has been rapidly declining. we've made funeral plans already, and her friends and family have been informed that she's dying.

waves of guilt, regret, and anger have been hitting me non stop today. i feel like i havent done enough, didnt force her to take medicine enough. i feel like i was too lazy with her feeding and liquids. and i feel like i should've done more. maybe if i was more on top of her treatment she would get better. maybe if we had taken her to a bigger hospital when she started feeling pain she would be recieving chemo now.

i feel that ive robbed her chances of recieving better treatment because of my shortcomings

if these are the fractions of feelings that will hit me once she leaves, i dont think i can handle it. a little part of me is praying that i get to follow suit so i dont have to face the pain of losing her forever.